


The Once and Future King of Back From the Dead

by Spoopy_Moose



Series: Crowley's further Misadventures with Team Free Will 2.0 [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crowley is alive, Crowley isn't dead, Dean is mean to Jack, Gen, Jack Has Issues, Poor Jack, Rowena is a little shit, Rowena is also alive, Sam cares for Jack, so is Crowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 12:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13975560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoopy_Moose/pseuds/Spoopy_Moose
Summary: Crowley is back





	The Once and Future King of Back From the Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all  
> I have had a lot of feelings about a certain demon lately, so I have decided to post this fic where I can satisfy my hunger for more Crowley.  
> This work is rated T for language   
> Please comment and leave kudos, those motivate me to write more, thank you  
> Spoopy Moose out

Unbeknownst from the still grieving Winchesters, Crowley was far from death, he was on a holiday, an extra-long holiday with his (also not dead) mother somewhere far away from all the Winchester man pain and alcoholism.

“Mother.” Rowena, his bitch, sorry, WITCH mother, sat down next to him on a tanning chair, wearing a swimsuit that would have looked horrible for someone her age but it somehow, with definite dark magic involved, managed to Instagram picture perfect on her.

“Fergus, this is the life, away from those horrible Winchesters and their horrid problems,” she sighed, sipping her margarita, “and that revolting angel, Lucifer, god am I glad to be away from him.”

“You used to have a crush on him,” Crowley, not missing a beat, reminded her.

Rowena rolled her eyes, “That was before I see him for who he truly is, a repulsive man with a ghastly sense of fashion. I even feel cleaner leaving that toxic waste dump behind.”

“Mother,” Crowley sighed, “when have you ever be clean? Besides, it was him who dumped you, remember? A snap of the neck if I remember correctly.” He took a sip of his drink, lying back on the tanning chair.

“Fergus,” his mother scolded, “you must stop looking back at the past, look the future, one without the supernatural, just you and me, having some proper family time.”

“That mother would be a nightmare.”

“That Fergus, I got to agree to.”

They both took a sip of their margarita, made exactly the same, they truly were related, whether the demon liked it or not.

“This reminds me mother, I got to drop onto moose and squirrel, they still don’t know I’m alive.”

“Whatever you need darling, I have a feeling you won’t be welcome.”

“I wouldn’t go empty handed then.”

…

A salad was on the bedside table, not just any salad, but the Florette Baby Leaf salad, the most expensive in the world, he poked it, it didn’t explode, he poked it again, still nothing.

“Dean? Why the fuck is there a salad on my bedside table?”

“I don’t know, why the fuck is there a hundred-year-old bottle of whiskey on mine?”

His brother appeared at the door, holding up a bottle of genuine whiskey, from a hundred-years-ago according to the label on the front, which also looks to be genuine. (and believe him, Sam has a lot of experience when it comes to antiques)

“Is that a, that whatever salad you showed me on ass-o-clock last year?”

“Um, yeah, the Florette Baby Leaf, it didn’t explode when I poked it, that’s a good thing right?”

“Yeah, probably poisoned though.”

Sam agreed, good things just don’t happen to them without a downside, he threw (rather regrettably) the salad out, Dean did the same with the bottle of whiskey.

“Right, so…”

“For Christ’s sake, I spend a thousand bucks on that salad and you’re just gonna throw it out like that?” a British accent sounded behind Dean, a black suit appeared, and then…

“Crowley?!” Sam yelped, Dean nearly jumped out of his skin.

“What the actual fuck Crowley?!” Dean yelled, “You’re alive?!”

“Of course, I thought you’d know a thing or two about coming from back from the dead.”

Dean was the first to react, once the shock of seeing the demon back from the dead wore off, he took out his angel blade and proceed to stab the former king of hell with it, unfortunately, even though hell is closed, Crowley still had his powers, with a snap of his fingers, the blade became white hot, causing his older brother to drop the blade with a yelp.

“Really Dean? Is that how you greet an old friend to whom you asked God to bring back?” Crowley sighed, Dean, gaped, “Yes Squirrel, I know about your little prayer.”

Jack stuck his head around the corner, probably having heard the commotion, Crowley turned around and choked.

“Um…Crowley, Jack, Jack, Crowley.” Sam introduced, “Crowley here is, a, um, old ally, and Jack is…um…Lucifer’s child.”

“You…” Crowley shouted, “You let him LIVE?! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT HE COULD DO TO US?! WHAT HE COULD DO TO THE WORLD?!” the demon facepalmed, “I knew you were stupid but I didn’t know you were stupid enough to…to let that thing live.”

Jack’s excited face fell and he quietly shuffled out of the room, Sam looked at Crowley accusingly, “What?” the demon shrugged, “it’s not wrong.”

“Look, Crowley, I get why you might want him gone, but the kid’s not evil, he actually wants to do something good.” Sam explained and Dean snorted, “Easy for you to say.”

“Look Dean, mom and Cas’s death isn’t on Jack, it isn’t on anyone, and believe me, they were family too.”

Crowley’s eyes widened, “What? Feathers is dead, and Gender bend Winchester too?! This is all the more reason for the thing gone.”

Dean made a gesture towards the demon, “See Sam? Even fucking Crowley sees it!”

Sam made one of his legendary bitch faces, “Dean, ‘it’ is a person, ‘it’ is probably right outside of this door and can probably hear you.”

“Whatever,” the demon grumbled, “keep the antichrist here, I don’t care, at the end of the day, if he ends up destroying the world, I won’t be the one saving it, for now...” Crowley snapped his fingers, and the whiskey and the salad appeared back on the table, before Sam could open his mouth to protest how unsanitary this is, Crowley interrupted, “…don’t worry Moose, it’s fresh.” And with that, he disappeared.

“…we need new warding,” Dean said as soon as the demon left.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Sam replied.

“You know my mother’s a witch, right? she could disable your precious system in two seconds with two hands tied behind her back, blindfolded.”

“Fuck off Crowley.”

“…can I have my gifts back now?”

“No.”

“Fine, I’ll be going now.”

“…”

“Crowley, please would you fuck off now?”

“…”

“Fine.”


End file.
